Tweet Potato

By Justin Cherot

Go figure.  For once I followed through, with every word I said, and Gavin DeGraw would be super proud.

Anyway, did the Twitter thing last night for the Boise St./Oregon game.  60 minutes of boring, ugly football, but the five minutes after the final whistle were riveting.

Anyway, here’s how my first live tweeting for a football game went:

10:06: 15 minutes ’til KO. Never ceases to amaze me how many variations of unis Oregon has.

10:12: Rece Davis just promised us an offensive explosion. I will sue if he’s wrong.

Sucks being in a small conference for Boise. If they lose, they’re done. It’s Sept. 3rd. Let the playoff debate begin.

10:20: Jackson Rice, Oregon’s true freshman punter, pins the Broncos inside the 5. So much for nerves.

10:23: Kellen Moore is sickeningly accurate early. It’s like he’s saying, “Masoli who?”

10:29: Great play by Moore after a fumbled snap to keep the drive alive, using his playmaker stick to adjust the route. Too much Madden.

10:31: A fumble and a sack later, they face another 3rd and long.

10:34: Man… if you’re Kellen Moore and you single-handedly led your team on a 80-plus yard drive and watch your kicker miss a chippy…

…you’d be throwing stuff. More specifically, throwing stuff at the kicker.

10:38: Rece Davis… I know it’s early, but you owe us an apology…

10:43: Moore has forever and a day to throw back there. I would be putting up McCoy numbers behind that line tonight.

Or, at the very least: Vick numbers… minus the rushing, plus more fumbles (if that’s possible).

10:47: Derek Jeter. Tiger Woods. Ricky Rubio. Who doesn’t belong in this Gilette commercial? Right? Like Jeter has facial hair.

10:50: Oregon has 8 yards on six plays. And it’s scoreless. Lucky Ducks.

10:53: Why do the Broncos insist on killing themselves around the red zone? False start brings them back.

10:55: Two great drives, two missed field goals. That kicker needs a hug… and security if they end up losing.

10:59: Oregon has as much rhythm on offense as William Hung. Yes, I just made you remember William Hung. Your welcome.

11:01: Said it before and I’ll say it again: I want a Rece Davis apology ASAP.

11:02: According to Heather Cox, Kyle Brontzman is “a man on an island”. Does he have a volleyball at least?

11:04: CFB would be a more exciting game if they placed the ball at the spot of the PI call. Just saying…

11:07: 4th and a long 1 from the 20, and they decide to go for it. With Brontzman as their kicker, good move.


Moore to Austin Phillips. And then… they convert a two-point conversion. That’s sooooo Madden.

11:17: Again, the Ducks are super lucky to only be down 8-0. Masoli and the offense look turrble.

11:21: Brontzman redeems himself with a punt pinning Oregon around the five.

11:24: Safety for the Broncos. Now, I’m no football genius, but why Oregon is in the shotgun performing a delayed hand-off…

… in the end zone… that’s just stupid. I-form, HB Dive. Maybe that’s conservative, but still, they ain’t gettin’ a safety.

11:30: Oregon’s D has been on the field longer than I’ve been in college. Ouch.

11:32: ANOTHER false start in scoring territory.

And here comes Brontzman with a 45 yd. attempt… IT’S GOOD! The crowd errupts in utter relief.

11:38: Oregon averaged how many PPG last year? Was it 42 or -2?

11:40: The first game of his coaching career isn’t going well, but Chip Kelly aced his first sideline interview. “We’re not done yet.”

Lou Holtz: “You had 15 months to prepare for them and now you’re gonna make changes in 15 minutes?” The lisp in mid-season form.

12:01: Talked a ton about Moore, but the Broncos running backs are doing a great job, too.

12:04: Right on cue, D.J. Harper with a 40 yard run to the Oregon 15.

12:09: Best sign EVER! “Even Emilio Estevez can’t save these Ducks.” 19-0 Broncos midway through the 3rd.

12:10: Why are the Broncos going for two??? This time the tricky ish gets stuffed.

12:12: Must score drive for Oregon.

12:14: Masoli dump-off to Blount underneath results in 6th 3 and out… in 6 tries.

12:17: Is it safe to start the debate about whether Boise St. is this good or are the Ducks this bad?

12:19: LeGarrette Blount of the Ducks said prior to the game,” We owe this team an ass whoppin’.” He has -6 yards. Nice.

12:29: Confession: I switched the channel to Baby Boy and completely missed Oregon scoring. 19-8. I’ll never make it as a journalist.

12:37: If Oregon can’t handle Jeremy Avery and D.J. Harper, how can they possibly handle USC???

12:38: Special teams for Boise State operating at a D+ level tonight.

19-8 going into the 4th, the Broncos have dominated every facet of this game, and yet the Ducks are a score and a stop away from being in it.

12:41: When are they going to give Brett Favre a purple tee for his Wrangler commercials?

12:48: Finally looks like Masoli and the Ducks are getting a little rhythm with those underneath routes.

12:50: These dumb college offenses. 4th and 1 at the 22, and Oregon lines up SHOTGUN! I know the spread is the rage, but that’s idiotic.

You know what would have been smarter and less second-guessed? A 39 yard FG attempt!

Chip Kelly, ladies and gentlemen.

12:58: What a sloppy couple of games tonight. Maybe CFB needs a pre-season.

1:04: MVP for the Ducks thus far with 7:21 left in the game: punter Jackson Rice.

1:10: From Baby Boy to Casino. I love this free premium channel preview and shall be sad when it disappears one day…

1:19: 2:22 left, and cue the overrated chants. Can you even argue tonight?

1:24: WHOA!!!! LeGarrette Blount just sucker punched one of the dudes on Boise State. WOW!!!!

WOW… and then he almost Ron Artested a fan! Jeez…

I definitely read [Byron Hout’s] lips and the phrase “ass whoppin” was involved. LOL… welcome to CFB 2010!


2 thoughts on “Tweet Potato

  1. Pingback: My Challenge to Coach Chip Kelly, Athletic Director Bellotti, the Oregon Ducks and LeGarrette Blount | Matt Eventoff

  2. Pingback: One Season, 32 Sentences « Pick and Pop

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